10 Comments

Melissa,

The picture of you and your son at Mavs game led me here. I listened to Tjarks on podcast and was saddened by his passing but seeing your picture peeked my curiosity about your family. This awesome post ultimately led me to the TED talks you suggested, which led to me reading the happiness advantage, and now here I am. Your story and strength in your loss to share your story, has helped my life. I can’t imagine what you have been and will be going through, but just wanted to take a moment to show my appreciation for you doing this and encourage you to continue because it will have positive affects on others! Praying for you and thank you!

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Thank you for sharing all you have these past many months. From when Jon was alive with his updates, to this blog, and whatever else may come in the future. I first heard Jon on podcasts with The Ringer and always knew him from his unique voice. The last couple of years I followed his writing more (particularly struck by ‘Does My Son Know You’ as a huge believer in small groups myself), and obviously his struggle with cancer. Just wanted to say thank you for continuing to share your life with us, mere strangers. As a 37 year old believer who is married, has two kids (ages 3 & 4), and has dealt with chronic pain since I was 22 from a traumatic back injury, your writing and stories have caused me to shed many tears… to think about my own life and legacy… and encouraged a great of gratitude for what I DO HAVE in this life. So thank you, again. Your vulnerability through your writing makes a difference.

P.S. From some of your statements of what (not) to say to a widow, people are crazy! I do not wish violence on anyone, but I can’t say I’d be upset if any of those individuals receives a firm open-handed slap to the dome at some point in their life. Let’s apply some of that to foster and adoptive parents, also. ‘Why did you decide to adopt? Is it because you can’t have kids?’ Ugh!

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Thank you so much for the encouragement, Ben! I appreciate it so much. Chronic pain is so awful. I only experienced it secondhand through Jon's cancer and my heart goes out to you.

I know people have the best intentions! So mostly I just assume that they meant something else, chuckle, and move along. More than anything it gives me a good laugh. Before Jon died, people were already posting tributes. He said it felt really weird because he was still alive, so I showed him the Monty Python plague "bring out your dead" clip. We laughed so hard, and for the next few days he'd mouth "I'm not dead yet!" anytime someone said something a little too somber for his liking. All that to say - life is hard. Gotta find things to laugh about!

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Oh my gosh… lol!! I love that you both found ways to laugh in the midst of such pain. I hope those memories bring you joy for years to come as Jon is assuredly in heaven being silly!

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This was so good Melissa. I am in awe of your strength, your posture before the Lord and your capacity to love in the midst of your own pain.

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Sweet Rachia, right back at YOU! Thank you for walking this journey with me day in and day out.

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Melissa,

Your heartfelt and articulate journaling is amazing. I keep thinking how much you have been through and still processing could help others in similar situations. You have a gift for expressing your feelings and maybe you should consider writing a book to reach a wider audience of people who have experienced loss of a loved one. God bless you.

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Wow Jamie, thank you!! That means more than you know. God bless you too!!

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My little boy is almost exactly the same age as Jackson (his name is Jack, born 3/13/2020), and he also loves Mr Grinch. Thank you for sharing the pictures! My husband, avid Ringer fan, and I have been praying for you, and will continue to do so!

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Julie, I love this so much!! Thank you so much for praying for us. Mr. Grinch is just the best. Please give lots of hugs to the whole fam for me.

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